An organisation can see coaching as a valuable investment while the person receiving it hears that someone thinks they are the problem. If they are told a coach has been arranged for them without much explanation, they may arrive already defending themselves against a judgement that was never intended.
The way coaching is introduced is part of the work. We should give it the same attention as choosing the coach.
Understanding what the reluctance is about
A leader may have had an unhelpful experience before, wonder whether the coach understands their role or worry that their manager will hear everything they discuss. They may also feel that the organisation is asking them to change while leaving the conditions making their job difficult untouched.
Those concerns can be explored. Sometimes the person needs more information or a conversation with the proposed coach; sometimes they are raising an issue the organisation needs to hear.
There may also be discomfort about looking at their own behaviour. Someone who has spent years building a reputation for being capable can find it difficult to acknowledge that their way of working is creating problems for other people. Approaching that carefully gives them a better chance of engaging than beginning with an accusation about their attitude.
Be honest about why the coaching is being offered
If coaching is supporting a transition or offering space for development, explain that. If it relates to specific leadership concerns, those concerns need to be discussed rather than hidden behind language about an exciting opportunity.
The participant should understand what the organisation hopes will change and have room to consider what they want from the engagement. Where those perspectives differ, bring that into the contracting conversation so the coach and leader can work with a purpose everyone understands.
It is also important to explain the time commitment and the information the sponsor will receive. A person is more able to decide how to take part when the arrangements are clear.
Attendance and engagement are different things
An organisation may expect leaders to participate in development, but it cannot assume that requiring a meeting will produce openness or reflection. A leader may attend every session while remaining unwilling to examine anything within their own influence.
The coach can begin with the person's experience and the situations they want to improve. A leader who believes their team lacks initiative might be willing to explore what happens when someone brings them a suggestion, including how quickly they correct it or take responsibility for it.
That gives the work a concrete starting point. It does not require the participant to agree with every explanation the organisation has offered before the coaching begins.
Recognising when the work has limited scope
There will be situations where the person remains unwilling to engage. The next step needs to be considered openly within the agreed arrangements, rather than continuing indefinitely and hoping the purchase of more sessions will resolve it.
The organisation also retains its responsibilities for expectations, performance and conduct. Coaching can support development without becoming the place where those responsibilities are quietly transferred.
At PasedaLeader, we want the purpose of the work to make sense to the individual as well as the buyer. If you are concerned about participation, we can discuss how the coaching is being introduced, what the leader has said and whether it is an appropriate form of support at this point.
